Chores by age: what kids can help with, and when

How to use this list

Every child is different. A careful six-year-old might peel carrots happily while a distracted ten-year-old still needs reminding to hang up a towel. The ages below are rough stages, not targets, and a child who is “behind” on a list like this isn’t behind on anything that matters.

Three things count more than age: whether the job is safe for this child, whether they have been shown how, and whether you can live with it being done less well than you would do it for a while. If the answer to all three is yes, try it.

Chores by age: a starting table

Some jobs on that list have a safety edge: knives, the stove, cleaning products, mowers, water around the very young. Use your own judgement and supervise until you are sure. Keep chemicals in their usual safe place and hand out only what is needed for the job.

Teach a job in four steps

Most chores fail because the child was told rather than taught. A pattern that works at any age:

1. 01

   You do it, they watch

   Talk through it as you go. “Forks in this slot, spoons in that one.”

2. 02

   You do it together

   They do the parts they can, you do the rest.

3. 03

   They do it, you watch

   Bite your tongue. Only step in for safety or if they ask.

4. 04

   They do it alone

   Check afterwards, now and then, and say what went well.

Expect it to be slower and worse for a while. A bed made lumpily by a five-year-old is a made bed. If you redo their work in front of them, they learn that their effort doesn’t count.

Sharing chores fairly between siblings

With more than one child, the question quickly becomes “why do I always get the dishes?” Two habits help:

• Rotate the shared jobs. Dishes, setting the table and feeding the dog move round weekly, so nobody is stuck with the worst one. Write it down so it isn’t your memory against theirs.
• Keep personal jobs personal. Their own room, their own bag and their own washing don’t rotate. They belong to the child.

Older children can do harder jobs without it being unfair, as long as the younger ones get the same jobs when they reach that age. Saying this out loud helps: “When you’re ten, you’ll be on bins too.”

A written roster settles most arguments before they start. A chore chart template for the fridge works well for younger children, who like ticking things off. The chore roster maker rotates several children through a list of jobs and prints it in a minute.

Pocket money and chores

Families split on this, and there’s no single right answer. Some pay for chores, some never do, and many do a mix: everyday jobs like setting the table are just part of living in the house, and bigger extra jobs like washing the car can earn money.

Whatever you choose, be consistent and say it plainly. A child who gets paid one week and not the next for the same job will reasonably feel cheated, and arguments about money quickly become arguments about chores.

Keeping it going

• Keep it short. A few jobs done most days beats a long list that falls apart by Wednesday.
• Tie jobs to routines. Clear your plate after dinner. Bag packed before screens. Bins out after footy training on Tuesday.
• Notice the effort. “Thanks for doing the bins without being asked” lands better than a reward chart nobody updates.
• Review each school term. Children grow quickly. Add a harder job, retire an easy one.
• Plan around the busy weeks. Exam weeks, camps and sport tournaments are a good time to lighten someone’s load and say so, not to quietly skip their turn.

Doing it in FairTurns

If the fridge chart keeps getting lost, FairTurns is a free web app that keeps the chore roster on one page. Add each job as a team, set when it repeats, and press Fill: each date goes to whoever has had the fewest turns. Children don’t need an email address. Add them by name and they show on the roster like anyone else. The public roster link lets the whole family check it on a phone. See chore roster for kids.

Questions